Grief comes in many forms

It has been two weeks since the loss of our Kylo.  I know that loss has a different effect on each person.  I also know this is a puppy…there are real painful losses of human life that I am not comparing this one to…but I still grieve.

COVID started for us like everyone else…how long will this last, are we ever going anywhere, what are we going to do, and are we going to be ok?  March 13 started that journey for us…it was a lot of things….especially time together!

My oldest daughter wanted a puppy for her new place at college, and we thought she was ready…and we had nothing but time.  Some of the only times my kids went out was to visit, pick out, and pick up the puppy.  Oakley was ours from the beginning.  We told my youngest that her time would come…we have 2 full-grown dogs, do we really need number 3 or 4?  When the puppies were ready…grumpy Rogue didn’t want to go, so he stayed home to support the changing lives of the 13-year-old lab and the 7-year-old German shepherd.

Then, the call came in…Hey daddy, a family had a situation and they couldn’t take Kylo…can we please have him?  Oh, dear…grumpy daddy melted, $500 more spent…we are about to have 2 new puppies!  Raising puppies is difficult, fun, rewarding, and something I love to do…but now that I am a little older, it is a little more difficult.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago…I stayed home because the 5-6-month-old puppies needed to be snipped…and Mrs. needed to be at school getting ready for virtual teaching.  Easy…take a day, cone up some puppies…hang out with daughter, easy day!  Kylo goes first…we were told that if the surgery was easy, he would not need a cone, and we could get him in 1-2 hours.  I was uneasy…it was a traveling vet…that we have used for a while…he said I did this yesterday on same weight boy.  The vet has been working as a vet for 25 years…he made me feel at ease.

2 hours…I am ready to see my little buddy…floppy-eared…follows us everywhere…the runt of the litter…my puppy (that my youngest and I shared).  There was a knock at the door…Kara came to grab Oakley so he wouldn’t run…life was a flutter and full of energy.

You need to step outside…there has been a problem.  I didn’t hear him, excuse me…there has been an issue, Kylo is gone…all of you parents know what happened next…my little Kara…my Kylo…the sadness.  The vet tech…his daughter was crying…we comforted each other…she said he kissed me before he went under…the sadness.

It has been a hard two weeks…I have been in a funk…I miss my little buddy…

Putting old dogs down is hard, but I can rationalize and grieve easier…the sadness…the grief is more difficult, I miss my little buddy!!

Kylo is the black, white, and brown puppy…Oakley, his brother, is the brown one that we love and spoil every day!!