Control, Trust, and Letting Go

So, entry number three.  I was really concerned about what to write about from week to week, but my church is doing a ‘dear me series’, so I have lots to think about and reflect on based on what I learn about and what my reverends push me to reflect on.

This week I am to reflect on the need to control things (due to fear), trust in god (and my team), and letting go of the need for control in a specific instance.

What’s interesting is that I can not think of just one instance…I can only think of phases of personal and work life.  What is interesting is that my need to be in control is what has caused unneeded stress and anxiety…

Dear Me,

I feel the need to control everything all of the time.  I wonder why I am stressed and anxious all of the time.  So much so that I have gone to the  dr. 2 times ( in the last 2 years) thinking I was having a heart attack just to be told that nothing (other than weight) was wrong with me.

As I begin to realize that it is my need to be in control, I have been trying to see how much better life is when I trust the people around me and spirit of God.  I am still on the journey with God…that will take some time, but I am learning and understanding.  But I am starting to let go of the need to be in control.  It is amazing what we can accomplish when it is a we, and not just a me telling ‘you.’

My personal and work family do amazing things, and I am feeling much better about things because of the trust of those around me…don’t get me wrong, I am still a control freak, but I am trying to let as much go as I can now…and more later, and more later.

I am a work in progress, and it is sad that it took trips to the doctor, and a personal story about fear of flying to make me see a simple truth (I’m not even close).  Trust is 100% or 0%.

Love – Me

At the end of the day, I am learning just 3 weeks in that life lessons are all around us if you choose to listen, reflect, and take action.  I think I am starting to listen more.